On this episode of Monetize the Mic, Jess had the chance to talk with Interview Connections client Jennifer Chapman about work-life balance as a leader!

Jennifer used to be a workaholic, known as the go-to person for getting things done and managing the most difficult customers or clients at a Fortune 500 consulting firm. She thrived on challenging situations and proving to others that she was invincible. But when her mental and physical health began to take a hit, she began a journey to create a work and personal life that aligned with what she most valued and wanted most. 

Now she has created and has the job she wants, an independent confidence from within, and the ability to bring her authentic self into everything she does at work. She’s more successful—in terms of happiness, financial security, and her ability to help others—than she’s ever been. 

Jennifer is an expert leadership coach who works with clients who want to be more confident, more authentic, and more successful. She especially enjoys helping leaders who have been promoted through functional expertise embrace their roles as people managers.

Jess asks, with everything Jennifer has going on, how does she find time to relax? What’s her secret? 

Jennifer admits that it’s a struggle - it’s a practice. Sometimes she starts to feel like she is invincible and she can do it all and then her body reminds her that she’s not. Mother’s Day is a great example. Despite the well wishes of Mother’s Day, that day can often be more stressful than relaxing for mothers. This year, Jennifer wanted to make it the day she wanted it to be. 

So she planned a Mother’s Day party. She invited 6 friends, they all had a great dinner, and Jennifer hired two massage therapists and everyone got massages. Afterward, they had a gift exchange and topped off the night with Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Jennifer and her friends had such a great time, they’re already planning one for the weekend after school starts, which is another crazy time for parents. 

Jennifer has to plan things in order to achieve work-life balance. She has a super supportive husband but Jennifer realized that she just needs to ask sometimes even though it can be hard to ask. Jennifer realized that you can really take ownership by knowing that you can have what you want by making the time and planning for it.

Jessica agrees that as mothers, it’s not that our spouses aren’t okay with us taking time for ourselves - it’s that we ourselves have a hard time.

Jennifer recommends to flip it around and ask yourself, “What advice would I give to my friend?”

People ask Jennifer all the time, “Do you coach yourself since you’re a coach?” Yes, all the time, Jennifer says! She asks herself, “If I were my client, what would I be saying to myself right now? How would I be comforting my friend?” Like many women, Jennifer is a lot kinder to her friends than she is to herself. 

Jessica wants to know, why is STEM in the industry that Jennifer specializes in? Why does she feel called to support them in their leadership?

Jennifer always felt like she got along with people in the STEM field. Those people tend to be very task-focused and very logical. She feels different from a lot of coaches, who are more interested in the people-side and gravitate toward people in those industries. Jennifer discovered she has a gift working with task-oriented and focused people. She thought, why not specialize in it. 

Jennifer has found it incredibly rewarding. She works with type A personalities who want to get stuff done, and the people-side of things is an afterthought. Her clients typically reach a point where they realize that they are getting stagnant, and they won’t move up unless they figure out how to do the people-side of their business.

A recent study showed that 78% of HR leaders said that they had become focused on finding technology employees with soft skills. The thing that is gonna differentiate you is “Can you work with people? Can you have difficult conversations? Do you know what to do when there’s conflict? Can you mentor effectively?” People Jennifer works with say, “I want to get better with this but I don't even know where to start.”

Jess asks for some examples of soft skills that Jennifer helps her clients improve.

One of the biggest skills Jennifer helps her clients with is how to get influence or how to get buy-in. She shares a story about how her husband noticed at his new job that a software that they were using was archaic. They had used it for a long time and loved it. Her husband noticed that it was inefficient, and they were doing double the work. At a meeting, her husband raised a hand and said “We need to do something about this system because it’s completely inefficient.” He met with stunned silence. 

The people in the room were the ones who advocated for that software program in the first place. He said to Jennifer, “I don't know why they didn’t see that my way was better.” Jennifer helped him see that he just stood up in a room and basically called everyone there an idiot. He responded, “I am who I am, and I am direct.” Jennifer asks, “And how is that working out for you?”

People say feelings shouldn’t matter but Jennifer insists that they do. The key is figuring out what issues are getting in the way of you getting what you want. Then you need to figure out how you can authentically develop those relationships with people, and build that trust so they will get on board and get excited about what you have in mind. 

Jess asks, “What’s your process when you coach? How do you help them see the difference between their intent and their impact?”

Jennifer has observed that a lot of task-focused people don’t have a lot of empathy. She explains that empathy isn’t letting someone cry on your shoulder. Empathy is the ability to step out of your own shoes and try on someone else’s shoes and see it from a different perspective. When you think about the best leaders, they’re the ones who can step into so many different shoes. They ask, “How is this going to impact everyone?” Empathy is a key attribute to success in any industry. Stop and think, “What is my objective? What am I trying to accomplish?” And then flip to being in their perspective. What are they trying to accomplish? 

Sometimes when you think about it that way, you find out you’re aligned on the same thing. That’s when you can have a real conversation about how you can collaborate and work together so you both achieve what you both want. 

Another piece of advice Jennifer has for our listeners is that your example speaks volumes. She would tell her team members that she wanted them to have work-life balance. Yet she was sending emails at 11:00pm, or working on a Saturday. 

Actions speak louder than words. After Jennifer started modeling a better work-life balance and being more clear in her expectations, she noticed that her team did a much better job of maintaining their work schedules. When she made the well-being of her team a top priority, she saw that when she needed them, her team was there and came through for her. 

You can connect with Jennifer at ambitionleadership.com! 

On this episode of Monetize the Mic, Jess sits down with Interview Connections client Shawna Schuh to discuss leadership blindspots!

Shawna Schuh is an eccentric thought leader, a skilled executive leadership coach, a two-time TEDx speaker, and a lifetime adventurer. In addition to her hard-earned Master’s Certificate in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Shawna has three decades’ experience working closely with top organizations such as Nike, Columbia Sportswear, Fashion Group International, and the National Speakers Association. 

She knows leaders thrive with an advocate who questions their thought process, and her unconventional perspective gives her some unexpected questions to ask. Shawna shares a unique perspective so that the information and ideas she promotes stick and work. 

Jess asks, what are some of the blindspots that exist in leadership?

Shawna begins by discussing one of the biggest blindspots that challenge leaders, which is relying on your team to tell you what’s wrong. Your team isn’t going to tell you what your leadership blindspots are because their job is on the line! A big mistake a leader can make is assuming that their team is 100% on board with every initiative in the company. 

Another blindspot that she’s uncovered is that most leaders are just telling. Leaders will say to her, “Well, I told them this. I told them why.” But it’s not actually communication. Some leaders also sell ideas and initiatives, instead of really having a two-way conversation about it.

Shawna also discusses that some leaders have a blindspot in allowing certain things. If a leader allows frequent bad behavior from an individual, it affects the entire team.

She is thrilled to see that many leaders are educating themselves, talking to other leaders, and strategizing. Shawna emphasizes that leaders need to ask questions to become better leaders. She also notes that sometimes leaders know their values, but they don’t actually feel them. They’re not committed to them. Leaders need to absolutely commit to and feel their core values.

Most leaders do not know what’s wrong with their business. They don’t have any idea of what’s being said or being done under them, even though they think they know.

Jess asks Shawna, “When should leaders ask questions, what kind of questions, and with what context?”

First, Shawna recommends that leaders figure out their intent. Shawna believes that a check-in is just an interruption. Leaders should ask themselves, “What am I trying to accomplish here?”

She has had leaders come to her and say, “I do check-ins with all my people.” Shawna asks, “What if you stopped and said - ‘I’m calling you to find out what one good thing happened today already?’” You’re going to be asking them something they’re not used to giving. Another example might be, “Rate the meeting you just had with that client on a scale of 1 to 10. What could you have done to make it a 10?”

Most leaders are checking in to make themselves feel better, but they might be triggering the team, or just interrupting them. 

Jess asks Shawna to dig deeper about check-ins. 

For Shawna, check-ins are about leaders feeling anxious that work isn't being done, or not being done well enough. Instead, she recommends having a pre-scheduled time to meet with a purpose. Instead of a check-in, maybe do a progress report: “What’s your progress? What’s preventing that progress? Tell me the process and share with me the steps you are taking.”

The best leaders are the best questioners. Don’t ask, “What were you thinking? Why would you do it that way?” 

“Why” questions are usually the poorest questions. That question doesn’t give you the answer that you want. Shawna asks, “What if you just shifted it to, how could I do that differently in the future?”

You can connect with Shawna at Shawnaschuh.com and take a free quiz to uncover your leadership blindspots! 

On this episode of Monetize the Mic, Jess speaks with Interview Connections client Dr. L. Carol Scott about the bridge between personal and professional success!

Women on the rise seek out Dr. L. Carol Scott and her “Seven Self-Aware Success Strategies” to help them remove invisible barriers, ignite self-confidence, and implement immediate action for their personal and professional evolution. 

As a trauma-informed developmental psychologist, she shares how the first 2,500 days of our lives determine our skills for relationships—ALL our relationships…for the rest of our lives. She achieves her life's mission to improve the way we treat each  other, by teaching us what we have always wanted to know about  “what makes people tick.” 

A TEDx speaker and author, Dr. Scott is also a nationally respected thought leader in early care and education. As a  keynoter, trainer, and coach, she supports teams and individuals,  anywhere that relationships are at the heart of success. 

Her first book, Just Be Your S.E.L.F.--Your Guide to Improving  Any Relationship, provides the framework and the tools for  Development Do-Overs on your earliest years of life, for better relationships now, at home, and at work. She holds an MA degree in Early Childhood Education and a Ph.D. in Developmental and  Child Psychology, both from the University of Kansas.

Jess wants to know, why are the first seven years so crucial to relationships? What is happening in those first seven years that is impacting us today?

Dr. Scott explains that in those first seven years, we are being wired for life. We are born with a whole lot of loose neurons. There are billions of neurons floating around that are not connected. Our job over the first three years is to wire those together. The way those neurons get connected is how we process the world. 

We are wiring our brains by experiencing the world at the rate of one million neurons per second, and 85% of the brain gets connected in the first three years of life!

Jess then asks, what does self-awareness have to do with success? 

Dr. Scott knows that success is all about relationships. If you’re going to do well with those important relationships, you have to be able to trust people. We, as humans, learned how to trust when we were 6 months old, and that affects us forever. When Dr. Scott works with adults, she has them look around at the trust in their lives. How is trust working for them or not working for them in the relationships that they have? She then uses that as her backward assessment to guess how things probably went for them. Dr. Scott helps them rewire that part of their brains. 

Naturally, Jess wants to know - how do we rewire our brains?

Dr. Scott explains that as infants, we know that trusting is about needing things. Infants learn to trust because they need fundamental caretaking. At that very basic level, if the infant learns that if they need something and nothing happens, that’s going to affect them. She wants people to unpack trust relative to needing things. They can work on looking at their needs. Generally speaking, we are often told that we have too many needs. Pretty early in life, we learn that needing something from someone else is to malfunction. 

Dr. Scott knows that we need to rethink that. Adults can learn that needing things is a normal thing. After facing that, people can really look around and be honest about what needs are being met, and what needs aren’t. 

We can identify our needs and we can identify people who can meet those needs who are in our lives. We can also identify people that we know who won’t meet that need. If someone doesn’t have the skill set to meet those needs, that doesn’t mean they cannot be in your life. You can teach them! People in your life want to help you but they might not know how - but they can learn.

Something that Dr. Scott does not want you to forget is: we need to put more time and energy into fostering and building relationships. They’re living things and that need to be fed!

Some people might be wondering, what does any of this have to do with success as an entrepreneur or business owner? Dr. Scott believes that it’s not possible to separate the personal from the professional. We cannot hope for professional success without personal success, they are completely intertwined. 

Jess completely agrees. Vulnerability is the greatest gift you can give someone. Podcasting is an especially great medium because it’s a long-form platform where you can be vulnerable, share your story, and create those deep connections. 

Jess also asks Dr. Scott, who typically works with you?

Often Dr. Scott works with women around the age of 35. She works with people who thought they were ready to launch into the world, and manifest all their possibilities. She works with people who had recently made a big change that feels like freedom, and yet freedom isn't there. Something isn’t right. They want to rise to the mountaintop but it feels like they have chains on their ankles. Dr. Scott is the person who says, “I know where those chains come from, they come from the first seven years. Let me show you how to unlock them so you can rise.”

Although Dr. Scott’s work resonates with a lot of women, she works with all gender identities. She helps you find success in the way you define your success.

You can get to know Dr. L Carol Scott and start a relationship with her on Facebook!

On this episode of Monetize the Mic, Jess sits down with Interview Connections client and certified relationship coach, Roy Biancalana!

Roy Biancalana is a nationally recognized expert in the field of attraction and conscious relationships. He is the author of three #1 best-selling books, the latest of which is Relationship Bootcamp: Hard-Core Training for Life, Love & the Pursuit of Intimacy. For the past 15 years, Roy has been supporting single people in the art of attracting healthy, sustainable, intimate relationships. His experience has taught him that getting in “relationship shape” is the key to attracting lasting love. 

Jess first asks Roy, “What goes into being fit in a relationship?”

Roy is the first to admit that he has made every mistake you can make. One of the biggest mistakes is to focus on strategy. People always ask Roy about the strategy of dating. Questions include, “Where do I go to meet someone? How do I find someone online? How do I approach someone? How do I flirt?”

If you were going to run a marathon, you could ask questions about how to be successful in a marathon. You could focus on questions like “What should I eat that morning? When should I drink during the race?” You could ask all kinds of questions about what to do on the day of the race, the strategy. But no matter how great your strategy is, if you’re not in shape you’re never going to go the distance. 

The biggest mistake people make is focusing on the dating strategy. What Roy has found is if you are not in great relationship shape, even if you have a great strategy, it’s not going to go the distance. The success of the relationship is more about your internal relationship health. You can never be in a relationship that’s healthier than you are.

Roy likes to turn questions about “them” into questions about you. Instead of “Where can I find someone?” ask, “Am I ready to create something real? Do I have something blocking me? Do I have limiting beliefs? What might be going on inside of me that is either going to inhibit the evolution of this relationship?” Roy wants to reorient people toward looking at themselves, rather than looking for a person.

Jess remarks that trust is one of the things that can hinder someone in a relationship. What does Roy tell people who have been hurt and betrayed and are having a difficult time trusting?

Roy reminds us of the fitness metaphor he uses for relationships. He has identified seven important relationship “muscles.” These muscles need to be strong so we can have healthy relationships. Something that Roy recommends we ask ourselves, is “What muscles do I need to get stronger with?”

One of the muscles that Roy talks about is your relationship to the past. Trust is really your relationship to the past. It’s important to ask, are you holding on to it or are you letting go of your past? Everyone to one degree or another has some baggage. What that does is, if it remains alive in us, makes it difficult to trust. It makes it difficult to meet the next person with an open and available heart. It makes it difficult to meet someone to get to know them. 

Roy coaches his clients to understand the past, and then let go of it. It’s not about forgetting it, it’s about framing it, and making peace with it. It’s something that happened, not something that is happening! Walls will keep you safe, but they will keep you single. 

Roy has identified three levels of trust. The first level is: I trust you. Your ability to trust is based on the other’s person’s character and behavior. You never can really feel secure if your trust is based on their behavior and character. Roy recommends reframing this trust to be, “My heart may get broken, but it will never break me. People are unpredictable. I don’t know what they’re going to do. I don't know what they are going to do, but no matter what, I’m okay. I’m going to learn from the experience.” 

Now, your trust is based on something that you know that you can control. Then you can be normal, you don’t have to protect yourself. You can be free, relaxed, and authentic. That’s when you’re the most attractive! Roy wants listeners to make sure they do not get discouraged if they find out your muscles need some work! It is not only possible, but life-changing, when you start to train and strengthen your relationship muscles!

You can connect with Roy and take his free relationship fitness quiz at Coachingwithroy.com!

On this episode of Monetize the Mic, Jess and Margy talk about the importance of content marketing.

Jess and Margy agree that content marketing should be resources, information, and other content that provides value. Margy finds that she doesn’t identify with marketing. For her, it feels cold and it feels out of alignment. Margy comes from a place of always wanting to give valuable information and having important conversations. 

If you feel like Margy does, her number one tip is to find what makes you different. Don’t just parrot what other people are saying in a crowded online space. It’s so powerful to hear someone saying something different in a sea of online noise. 

When Jess and Margy coach their client, they really dig in on their client’s messaging. They focus on the client’s company vision, and how they can infuse that in their interviews. When that happens, their marketing and their content messaging is something that makes people listen. 

People always ask Jess if content marketing should be paid or free. Jess feels that if it’s paid, it’s no longer content marketing. It becomes a product. The reason content marketing works so well is because it’s free and anyone can access it. 

A lot of people will respond with something like, “I put a lot of work into my content, I want people to pay for it.” Jess reminds us of the power of reciprocity. If you put a lot of work into your content, your podcast, your launch, your videos, etc, people feel that gift that you’re giving to them. This will make people feel more likely to want to work with you!

Nobody will want to pay for you until they’ve seen what you can do. And the best way for them to see what you can do is content marketing! You should also keep in mind that it’s strategic to create content marketing in multiple different ways because people learn in different ways.

1. The number one content marketing strategy Jess and Margy recommend is, of course, podcasting. Podcasting is a great way to reuse content, increase visibility, and get in front of a trusting audience. Podcast guesting is easier to start with, rather than creating your own podcast and hosting. Guesting will get you out there. It gets you familiar with the space. It’s a really easy way to create a content machine with podcasting as the center of the wheel.
   
   From one podcast interview, you can create written blog posts, videos, audiograms, emails, etc. You can also accomplish this by hosting your own podcast, which is an amazing thing to do, but it can be overwhelming especially at first. Jess and Margy definitely recommend starting with guesting so you can get your feet wet in the podcasting community!
   
   
2. The next content marketing tactic Jess and Margy discuss is videos! People love consuming content visually. There are so many ways you can utilize videos, whether it’s pre-recorded videos, Instagram reels, or Facebook lives. There is definitely a different energy with live videos when you have people interacting with you in real-time.
   
   In any video content marketing, hearing someone’s voice is a great way to connect with someone! Videos allow you to do that. A viewer will really get to see you, your body language, your voice inflections, and everything that makes you, you. Video can leave a lead feeling much more connected with you than other content marketing strategies.
   
   
3. The final content marketing piece is written content. Jess could devote a whole episode about writing a book, and if that is something you’re interested in doing, a book can be a fantastic way to get your content out into the hands of your leads. Some people will gravitate toward books, especially if they feel like they need to take a break from screens. Other great written content includes LinkedIn articles, episode descriptions, and blog posts!

Margy’s recommendation is don’t do nothing if you can’t do all of it. The most important thing is consistency. If you’re overwhelmed by all of these different strategies, just start with one!

Entrepreneurs who are really good at content marketing know they are playing a long game. They do not expect to do one video and reap all the rewards of content marketing. When you really want to give value and when you understand that this is a long game, that is when you will see success. 

Another recommendation from Jess and Margy is to block out time for content. Jess and Margy pick one day and plan their entire month’s content. Just start showing up and keep going. You’ll get better with consistency. You may feel like you’re screaming into the void but people are watching. A lot of people are lurkers. They just look, they don’t interact. Once they’re ready to buy, they’ll reach out. Margy herself is a lurker, so she can attest to that!

Immature entrepreneurs give up if they don’t see success right away. Mature entrepreneurs are consistent. This is a long game, you have to keep going and be consistent. Jess reminds us that you can’t stop just because you don’t have “fans” yet!